[00:00:00] Welcome to the average nineties GAL podcast. Join me as I share my own journeys through life, how I got and continue to get through them, as well as real stories from real people in this crazy world. Let's get through it together.
Analysis paralysis. How many of us know of this analysis paralysis? Hi, welcome to the show. Thank you for being here. And yes, I will break into song every now and then. I just do that. Sorry, not sorry. So today, obviously that's exactly what we will be talking about, analysis paralysis, making decisions, and how we can get through them.
And hopefully I will be helping you by giving you some steps [00:01:00] and some tools and tips that you can use when you are trying to make a decision. I know that some of us have hard times even making small decisions, so this is for just decision making skills in general. I've done a little bit of research. I have listened to many podcasts about this, and I will also share what helps me because I have had a really hard time making decisions in the past.
I still do at times, but I've put in a ton of work on myself to get myself through it. And to realize my why as to why I have such a hard time making decisions. I have also realized that my best decisions have been based on listening to my gut and taking action as a soon, as soon as I knew it was right and not sitting on it.
So I'm gonna take you through these steps and [00:02:00] hopefully they will help. You get out of your analysis paralysis if you ever find yourself in that situation and hopefully help you with your basic decision decision making skills. So number one, what is truly stopping you? Is there something you know you want to do but you are paralyzed?
Take action. Figure out your why. And is it. Fear, overthinking, outside validation, never really being the one to make decisions in your entire life or all of the above. Are you afraid of making the wrong decision, which is leading you on the overthinking and overanalyzing hamster wheel, as well as the what if wheel of doom, which is what I like to call it.
Are you worrying too much about what others will think? Say, do. Is [00:03:00] that stopping you? Are you stopping yourself because you know it will make someone angry or unhappy because you are changing and doing something they just will not understand. So going into my own life, after doing some work on myself, uh, I realized that I grew up with people basically making decisions for me.
Based on how other people would feel. For instance, I have a story that I totally forgot about until one day when I was meditating on my inner child. I remembered when I was in middle school and I wanted to run for leadership. I think it was, you know, publicity or something like that, which I ended up doing in high school.
But anyway, I was running for [00:04:00] something in leadership and my mom, who was a secretary, if you've listened to my episode with Jocko, you know, my mom was a secretary, well she was also a secretary at my middle school and then followed me to high school basically. Anyway, someone told my mom that this other student friend of mine was really upset that I was running for the same thing he was, because he knew that I would win.
So my mom came to me and said, you know, he's really upset that you are running because he knows you'll win. Maybe you shouldn't run. So I didn't. I didn't run for it, even though that's what I wanted to do. It stopped me and I realized and went back to all the times that I did not do something that I wanted to do because I was told that it would upset someone else.
Now that is what it is. I'm not upset about any of that [00:05:00] other than the fact that. I have realized as an adult why I look to outside validation all the time. I am always stopping myself from doing something that I want because I'm thinking about the feelings of others. Now, of course, I'm not saying don't think about other people's feelings.
If you are trying to decide something and that's the reason for not doing something or for doing something. For me, it was always for not doing something was because of how someone else felt or would react. I suggest really going into your childhood as to why you were doing that because that has completely opened me up as an adult.
This podcast, for instance, I did not do it as soon as I thought about doing it because I kept thinking about how other people would [00:06:00] react. And then the reason why I'm doing it now is because I said to myself, Meredith, just fricking do it. Who cares what other people think about this? This is not. For these people that you're worried about, don't think about what other people will say about you behind your back.
If people don't like this podcast, people don't like this podcast, it's fine. Just keep doing it. This isn't for them. So if that's one of your reasons that is stopping you, I really do suggest to really think about. How other people made decisions for you or impacted your choices when you were a kid and as you were growing up.
Okay. Moving on. Have you also already given this decision or not making the decision based on meaning? [00:07:00] You have already given it, so throughout your life, have people said things about. What it is that you wanna do, or where it is you wanna go or what do what you wanna do next. Are you thinking about taking a big risk?
And have you already decided what the problems are and why you're stopping yourself because of what other people have said about the thing that you want to do. For instance, if you are a lawyer and you don't wanna be a lawyer or a doctor anymore, and you want to create. You know, pottery or become a writer or anything like that, are the voices from other people in your life, in your head, stopping you also, even as an adult, is someone making all of the, of the decisions for you in your life.
This, and I'm so sorry if this is true for you because this must be [00:08:00] extremely difficult to get through. So I would say maybe for you making small decisions will be a great way to start taking back your own power and making your own choices as your own, because that is a big block that I hope you're able to get through to be part of the decision making in your life on a daily basis.
And so. Maybe not even huge decisions yet for you, but if that is what's stopping you, I really do suggest putting in some work and maybe even speaking to someone professionally just to help you really get through that, because that is a huge, huge roadblock in someone's life. The second part of making a decision after you've gone through all of this, so figuring out the why, what is stopping you.
The second is finding clarity. By doing so first, get rid of [00:09:00] distractions. There are so many distractions in this world. If you can be alone, that would be great, but if not, you know, find a room, close the door anywhere, put away your phone, turn off the TV, and get quiet with yourself. Next, make sure that you are not emotionally charged, and I don't mean that you're not having feelings, but that you are not emotionally charged either elated about something or are you in a dark place?
Are you depressed in a dark, sad mood? And then, like I said, are you really elated, excited, but so overly excited that it's clouding your judgment? Because you really, you want to be neutral so you can truly think clearly and not make a decision based on emotions alone. Our brains can lie to us in both states, and this [00:10:00] is where we can also talk ourselves into or out of decisions.
By giving ourselves excuses and making a decision from a made up world, we are creating before the decision is even made. So just try to make sure that you are not making this decision, or even just writing things down, ideas down when you're in a heightened or low state. Now you can do the pros and cons lists.
You can do all the research. You can ask others what they think. Then there is a time to turn it all off and to go inward. If you are constantly going to Google Chat, GPT, others' opinions, then you are just procrastinating and keeping yourself from making the decision. I believe that a main reason as to why we have a difficult time making decisions these days is that there are too many [00:11:00] ways to.
Get information and to, uh, get feedback and there's too much information. So turn all of that off and go inward. It is much easier to live with the wrong choice if it is based on what is felt right and aligned with who you are and who you want to be at the time. If you look back at a decision. You made when you were in a certain state, or because you were procrastinating and you were trying to get everybody's opinions and you were doing all the things.
If you made a choice when you were doing all of that and it's the wrong choice, then you are really gonna look back at it and really regret it. But if it's the wrong choice that you made when you knew, you just knew it was right, but it turned out being wrong. It is gonna be [00:12:00] a lot easier for you to flip and pivot and say, okay, well that wasn't it, but that's okay because it felt right at the time, now I'm gonna make this choice.
And all the choices after that will not be, you know, based on so much lack and regret. And then on to the third is to listen to your gut. So while you're in that really wonderful neutral state, it's time to listen to that gut. What is your body telling you when you say that decision that you are thinking about making out loud or just to yourself, or does your gut say instantly?
And as an exercise, think about the times when you ignored your gut or didn't listen to your body when you went ahead with a decision. What was the outcome? Just think about [00:13:00] that for a second because we've all done it. I took a job where during the interview process, my gut was screaming at me not to continue with the interview and not take this job.
After a certain interview, my gut just said, Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I'm like Those aliens in the Muppets. Nope, nope, nope. I then took the job just because I thought I needed it, not because I wanted it, and I was miserable from day one. Miserable. It's because I didn't listen. I did not listen. I, my body and my brain and everything was saying, do not move forward with this.
But I did anyway because I was saying to myself, well, you know, you've gotta do this. You [00:14:00] have to. It's money. You've gotta take the money, you've gotta do this, you gotta do that. So what did I end up actually doing? I took the job and after a few months I quit. I quit because I sat on it for a, a moment. I, I listened to my gut and then my gut kept saying, quit.
You can, you can quit. You can figure this out. You're gonna do it. You're gonna make it happen. You'll figure it out. Just quit. And I did. I have to say the moment I did, I was 120% happier, and honestly, what I'm doing today, everything that I'm working towards would not be happening if I didn't quit that job.
So I learned from it. That's the experience I had for not listening to my gut, but [00:15:00] then I did listen to my gut. I really learned from that situation because it also taught me that I do not want to do that type of work anymore. I realized that it wasn't just the job itself, it was what I was doing. I was done.
I did not wanna do that anymore, so I learned from it. It's a learning experience as well, which is something we'll get to in a little bit. So if you have written down the different choices, the pros and the cons. Try reading them to yourself. Read them out loud and see how they make you truly feel. What is your instant reaction to that thought, to that decision?
What's the instant reaction in your body for saying, I will do this and saying, I won't do this. A decision is a will or a won't. Is your body really reacting to not doing it? Just as [00:16:00] much as it's reacting to doing it and really taking note of that. And on that note, if it helps to turn decisions into a definite yes or no, a very black and white this or that, then do that.
Some of us need to like be a little bit in the gray area. Some of us, we need it to be a hell yes, or else it's a no. But that is, it's different for everybody. So what works for you? What type of reaction are you getting out of it by saying, oh, this is a yes, and if it is a yes, then let's move on to the next step, which is take action.
Taking action is extremely important, and this is where I mentioned in the title of the PO of the episode that Tom Cruise speaks to me. It's because. His voice from Maverick. I love that movie. Don't think just do [00:17:00] once. You know, you know? And if you get a hell yes on that decision, stop ruminating on it.
Don't think, just do that voice is in my head all the time when I'm trying to just get myself to do something. I'm talking even small decisions. Decisions that. Are not a habit yet, are not a ritual, but I want them to be such like going to the gym or just working out, uh, going to the grocery store instead of ordering it on Whole Foods or Instacart.
I say to myself, don't think just do, because I know I want to do it. Why am I stopping myself? Don't think Meredith just do is what I say. And I get up and I go or I get up and I. You know, get my workout clothes on or get and get my shoes on. Don't think, just do that is constantly in my head. So thank you Maverick Tom Cruise.[00:18:00]
The next is stick to one Action and do that. We can make it complicated and overwhelming because we add too many other choices to the one decision that we're trying to make. That also stops us from taking action because then we think, okay, well I've decided to move, you know, across the country. Oh gosh.
But if I do that, then I have to figure out how, how am I getting all my stuff out there? How much money is it gonna cost? Oh God, where am I gonna live and is this gonna work out? Should I do this first before I make the fine, the full on decision to move? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The decision is I'm going to move.
Okay. Boom. That's all you need to say. I'm going to move because then we don't have everything else, all the other choices [00:19:00] weighing down on us. We start thinking of all of the, how will I do it, when, where, just make the one choice the next decision. After that one choice is the next decision that will fall into place just like Domino's, as long as that first decision was based on what was true to you and what you truly want to do, and that next decision will also be based on what your gut says.
Because that first decision is all you needed. It is like, it is like a choose your own adventure book. Each chapter is a new choice that you will need to make. In that moment, if you keep thinking about how the book will end, then you are back on that wheel of doom and no action is being taken. And if you are hesitant, ask why.
Why are you uncertain or unsure? Is it going back to what is stopping you and working [00:20:00] through one or more of those roadblocks? You gotta work through the fears, so you are moving forward. I cannot tell you how important it is to just keep moving. Keep moving, keep moving. It is about making some sort of change.
So you are stepping out of the wheel and you are never going back in the wheel. You have got to put a cog in the wheel actually, so that you are not constantly just in that loop of that analysis paralysis. The things that I like to remind myself actually are. Every decision is the right decision because it leads you to a next step.
You will learn more from a bad decision than not doing anything at all. That decision may lead you down the right path, actually. So it's all just about the doing and the taking [00:21:00] action. Do not call yourself stupid for making the wrong choice, because every choice is a teacher. Every choice teaches you something.
Such as my example with the, the job I learned, what I no longer want to do because I made that bad choice. I have also made other job choices where I left a job that I was in for a very long time. I took a risk and I did that because. I did not wanna do it. It, so this, the, the recent job that I quit from that was really a test.
I probably should not have taken that job. It was a test for me saying, are you really ready to go down a different career path? Oh, you took the job. I guess you're not ready. Oh, wait, yes, you are. All of those wrong choices. [00:22:00] Taught me what is leading me towards my future. Making a new decision, taking a risk, changing our daily mindset begins a shift within ourselves and our lives.
It gets us out of our comfort zone and shows us that we can live a life that is true to who we really are. I hope this has helped you. Just getting through any kind of decision that you're trying to make, or decisions that you will try to make in the future, even if it's starting with, you know, what should we have for dinner tonight?
I challenge you if you are this kind of person. I challenge you to not say, I don't know. What do you want? I challenge you to say, huh. Let's see. I think I'm in the mood for Indian food tonight. Let's have Indian food tonight and making [00:23:00] that choice, many of you know, road Not Taken by by Robert Frost. But I think this is a really great way to end the podcast episode Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.
The very end says, I shall be telling this with a sigh. Somewhere, ages and ages. Hes two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference. Thank you so much for being here. I will talk to you soon. Bye-bye.
