Brad and Jess Part 2 FINAL-1
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[00:00:00] The two of you have. So many friends. It comes with the industry. I was gonna say. Exactly. No, but also I know that you guys have friends that you've had forever. You've had friends. Yeah. You're still friends with people from elementary school. Absolute. So two, two friends of mine from elementary school who come to karaoke night tomorrow night.
See, there you go. I was just on a cross country trip with seven college friends. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I love having different groups of friends. Yeah. All over the place. Yeah, because, so it just seems that friendship. Is really important Of course, to both of you, right? Of course. Yeah. And we're all friends, obviously.
Yes. And Cheese is one of those places where even someone the other day when we were at an engagement party said how unique our group is because we all met at Cheese and anyone who listened to my solo episode, I mentioned cheese when I talked about my New York City. Gotcha story. It does make sense.
Yeah. Yes. Not mention the Yeah, we were no stranger. Yeah. Yeah. [00:01:00] But, and how unique that was though, that so many people became so close just from one bar. Is that unique or not? Well, that's thing, I think it's unique to you because you've never had the a bar experience. Yeah. But that is Scott, that's a thing that happens if you, yeah.
Especially if you are and wanted to go into that neighborhood. You were lucky enough to, you're right on not the outskirts of the neighborhood. We used to be in mostly. Yeah. But it's still considered the area. So you were like comfortable with the area and knew it. I came in with, I knew nothing about Park Slope, nothing.
We found this thing on Craigslist. It worked out. We like, all right, now I live here and work here. Yeah. And, but what I wanted to do without knowing Park Slope, what I wanted to do, it wouldn't have matter what neighborhood. I wanna make a small neighborhood. And I wanna fill it with shit that makes me laugh and I want to call it the cheese.
Yeah. So eat shit if you don't like it, I don't care. And but that mentality of it doesn't matter where it is, as long as you can adapt to the neighborhood and know the neighborhood and [00:02:00] get lucky enough for them to accept you at the same time. Oh. So go. I would say in going back to the, it was. A unique thing at the, at Jake and Katie's engagement party of how close everybody is, like where I'm from, Indiana, I would go, there were a couple of the college bars that were like chill enough that we would still go as counties, but for the most part it was like the college kids had the loud, obnoxious college bars, and then we just still had our neighborhood bars, our dive bars, where you still knew everybody, whether or not you.
We're friends before you went to the bar and from the time I was 21, I knew all the bartenders at every place I went. And then when I started working in dive bars in, or like neighborhood bars in Brooklyn, my first one was because my friends and I were regulars there and had gotten to know the bartender and made a joke about.
Bartending or like one of the friends was being a dick and trying to get me and my boyfriend at the time to come back to the neighborhood from upstate was like, if you wanna work here, she says, you have to get down here [00:03:00] like today 'cause the owner is coming in and blah, blah, blah. He didn't know I had the bartender's phone number.
I was like, is this true? And she was like, no. Okay, cool. But then it did lead to two weeks later when they were hiring. She's like, do you actually wanna work here? So it's how I got my first neighborhood bar job. That's great. That's cool as hell. Every bar that I've worked at has been, because I was friends with the owners, friends with the bartenders, whether I knew the owners or not.
I was friends with the bartenders at least. Yeah. But that first neighborhood bar job, my first solo shift. I had come from working at a steakhouse in Tribeca, so it was a lot of finance bros, a lot of tourists, a decent number of people that I did really became friends with, but a lot of people that I either never saw or had nothing in common with.
So my first solo shift at the neighborhood bar, I had been out all night drinking. It had been raining all day and it was like, it's gonna be slow. It's not gonna matter. Like the steakhouse was never busy if it was raining and it had been raining for literally eight hours at that [00:04:00] point. So it was like's gonna be chill.
And I walked in and every seat at the bar was taken. Half the tables in the main area were taken. Half the tables in the lounge area were taken. So it was me and a waitress, but I was solo behind the bar and I went over to some of the customers and I was like, not gonna lie, I did not bring my A game today.
I did not expect it to be this busy. So I apologize in advance, but I will get to know everybody. And one of 'em looked at me and said, this is our neighborhood living room. We're always gonna be here. Yeah. And so that's just the way I've always. Taken to every bar where I've worked is is neighborhood living room.
So yeah, you need to be able to get along, you need to feel comfortable, you need to be welcomed. Yeah. And that exists in places like Indiana, where there's so much space and all the rest. And then also on a microcosmic level. Mm-hmm. New York City too. Yeah. Everywhere. This is our neighborhood. Joints all are welcome.
And if you fit. Us, you're gonna all real know you're gonna know each other. You're gonna get to know each other. Yeah. Yeah. And that's not to take away from what we have on the text [00:05:00] thread cheese fam. Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of people, and I understand that, and I love the fact that mm-hmm. Those people are all good friends.
And those people are all my good friends. Yeah. So that's, we are part of the bar. We don't just, we don't own it. And are glad people met there. Yeah. We're like, we're glad. We met you there. Yeah. Yeah. And that is that honest sense of community that you need and think that's the type of bars that we've wanted to work in and wanted to own that.
That's why precisely. There you go. Yeah. It tends to cause that more. Absolutely. Yeah. Other neighborhood bars will still have somewhat of a community, but yeah. Our staffs are really small. Like all the bars where I've worked, the staff's been small. It's karmic in many ways. Oh yeah. In the sense like if you're a fucking asshole, guess who your friends are gonna be.
Bunch of assholes. Assholes. And if you're really cool, you're gonna have what everybody agrees is the asshole friend, but everybody else cool assholes make it into every group. There's no doubt about that. And every bar. Yeah, precisely. Yeah, exactly. But if you're just a genuinely good person who doesn't lie and doesn't cheat and then steal, not like.
Perfect. Not, we're not perfect people, but if [00:06:00] that goodness of just deep, regular, honest, not even profound, just realized goodness of person. You find each other when you fucking suck. They find each other too. Yeah. They don't have friends at all. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But that's why I wanna erase the internet because now they do have friends.
Yeah. And it's on fucking line. And they have some sort of power now, which they should actually go. The rocks. Yeah, analog. Let's go back to analog, please. Yeah, let's go back. No Kardashians. No. Yeah, but here's the thing though. Gen X, this is, okay. Gen X gets away with a lot of shit. We really do. Everybody's, oh, the boomers and the millennials are at it again.
And who the hell is Gen Z? These people, they're aliens. They're fucking foreign people to us. Yeah, because they grew up not just with the internet, but like they grew up in a fucked up, developed reality style. Digital presence. Yeah. It's fucking Ben Banana. Fun reality TV that has no basis in reality.
Exactly. But here's the thing. [00:07:00] Who the fuck's responsible for that? You ever see the real world? I know. We watched the Real World. It was exactly my demographic. It was my age, and it started it back in the seventies. There was that cinema. There was a movie, cinema. Verde. Verde. Thank you very much. Yes, that did it.
But real World was the first like major full on reality as we know it today, documentation. And we fucking ate that up. We watch Real World One, we know Real World Two, we know who Puck is. Like he, he's the asshole of the group. But the second and that thing. And we sit here today and be like, fucking Kardashian suck.
Yeah. And I used to watch MTV when it had videos on it. Asshole. Yeah, you did. But then once they started showing reality television, you watch that you fucking Gen X prick. So don't, so we get away with so much shit and we're like, oh, we were cool man. We're the X Generation. We wear cargo pants and fucking didn't care man.
And that's true. And is fucking awesome. [00:08:00] We are dead. Yeah. But at the same time, a bunch of us fucking just really, we were the first ones with the internet. We're like, oh, first we were the first assholes. We were the first assholes. Yeah. And whatever. It's now it's like you were, if you say you were in Williamsburg, but it was cool.
Fuck you. You're the reason it sucks. Now you know you're part if it sucks now and you were there at all, you're part of the reason it sucks now. Yeah. Maybe you were really cool part, but that's, fuck whatever you're part, that's what the cheese is in general. It's like posters have like shit that you have watched multiple episodes of.
Fucking Gilligan's Island. Like when the fuck did you do that? Yeah. Like when did you like spend a bunch of time watching complete and utter horse shit. Yeah. And we're all guilty of it. Oh yeah. I forgot my point. But I watched Gilligan's Island at four o'clock after school. 'cause it was on Channel four.
Yep. I watched Days of Our Lives. There you go. In General hospital with my friends. Yeah. And NTV. Yeah. [00:09:00] But I will say I loved the videos. Yeah, of course. Because then we were children. We were talking about this earlier. How much, like even when you know MTV two came out, you were excited because it was finally videos.
Oh, yeah. But then they, they were playing so fast. We liked VH one for crying. Oh yeah. It was more channels. Come on, on. I know. But MTV had already moved away from music videos and VH one was M two. That was, were showing videos, but that wasn't until 19 90, 91. It coincided with the internet. It truly did, because the real world first season was.
I think it was probably 90 right around there. Around there. Yeah. But I'm saying that by 95, M two was, they started because you couldn't watch music videos on MTV anymore, so they made M two. Yeah, and then we had M two when we moved out into the country when I was in a sophomore in high school. I was like, oh my God, we get M two on this satellite dish.
I can watch videos again. And then very quickly it was like, now we don't show videos anymore. Yeah. Now it's real world repeats [00:10:00] because nowadays, like generations that were born and raised with reality television, we're sitting there going, oh, they're fucked. That sucks for you. Stop being assholes. All the rest.
But it's like we were the ones who did it. We were the ones who grew up without it. We were the last ones grew. Grew up without it. Yeah. And then we fucking made it. We were the first stars of it. We were the first. We were the first generation to be like, you are the internet. Let's see what you do with it.
And now 2025 we're like, fuck yeah, we fucked that. Yeah. Because we were the ones who watched if we didn't watch and refused to watch. Yeah. And the ratings were so low it wouldn't have continued. Yep. But hey. Yeah. And who knows, like what Jen Alpha, which is what my son is in and stuff, who knows what they're gonna do.
It's either gonna go. Crazy train with AI and everything, or people are gonna finally go backwards a little bit, little.
The Gen Z where they like got rid of their smartphones. Yeah. Were doing flip phones again, [00:11:00] especially after COVID. A lot of them realize what it did to them, their mental health and legit just stopped. Yeah. Using a smartphone and I'm like, Ooh, yeah, that'd be amazing. I love this. Yeah. Now as a mom of a Gen Alpha, do you.
Do you think? Of course, as a mother to a 14-year-old, you're always gonna be like your generation Holy thing. Yeah. But just like our parents did to us. Like every generation of parents is always gonna look at, yeah. What kind of stupid thing are you saying? Bad meaning good. Like they, they don't know that.
Like why is it that's. And now today they're using, I don't know, ski and well lit. And I said lit the other day and Oh, you have a 14-year-old boy, don't you? Yeah, exactly. And I'm like, yeah, I'm actually using what he says though. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not saying what does lit mean? Yeah, no, you're speaking their language, but I would never say Riz or whatever.
Now, do you think that because you're in the unique position, that's what we just talked about as being the final generation, you were the last generation. To remember being a child and becoming an [00:12:00] adult. I know for me I was, I turned 18 in 1991 wasn't by the time I was 20, there was so it's, I know. So we all, but we are the last generation to remember it and to know what it was before that.
Yeah. Do you think there's a bigger disparity as a mother between the last generation that actually does remember being a kid without the internet and having a kid that's developed? Yeah. Warp sense that we use the internet as right now is so ingrained in that kids. Yeah. Honestly, no, I don't feel super disconnected from him.
Okay. What I do have to be aware of though, is what he's consuming. Yeah. How much he's consuming, how often, and making and regulating everything our, so I always think of. You know, our parents, they didn't have to worry about, they worried about certain things. Yeah. But yeah. You worried about a stranger giving candy in the park.
Exactly. Yeah. Not something online where there's billions of strangers of candy. Yeah. And social media and I, and [00:13:00] having his own smartphone, which he did not get until he was 13. Yeah. And, but also I have, I turn his wifi off of ev on everything at a certain time every night. Yeah. And because. Kids can't regulate themselves.
Yeah. So to me, we couldn't either. Yeah. It just depends on how much, how many tools you have. No one disposal your, your brain get yourself in fucked up brain. The brain has, that brain hasn't changed yet. My, my mom used to yell at me for being, for reading a book at two in the morning. Yeah. When I was in fifth grade.
Yeah. Because you should have been asleep. I can't put this chapter down, but, so it's just a different. But it was a book knew, knew what I was reading book. Exactly. So yeah, it wasn't gonna lead me down a rabbit all turning into a N these days, which I just, I can't believe I just said kids these days, but they also know exactly like how to go in and hack things and it's wild.
But what I don't understand is parents who just let their kids do everything and anything. Yeah. And saying, [00:14:00] oh, it's fine. No. Yeah. It need, do you not know what your kid's looking at? Yeah. I mean, I don't know what my kid's looking at every second of every day. Yeah. But if I can at least regulate some of it Yeah.
To know that I'm the parent. Yeah. I'm the adult. Yeah. Why in the world would a, would a parent allow their kids. To make these decisions for themselves. Yeah. And this is where it gets really scary and dangerous. Yeah, absolutely. 'cause if you're at least not even just going onto their computer and looking, I don't, because I do fully believe in privacy for your kid too.
I do not want him to ever think I'm breaking his privacy. So he hands me his phone every. Yeah. I never look at it and he knows I don't, but I wonder how many parents are just like, I won't look like, of course, but how am I going? If he's not going to trust me, how am I gonna trust him? Has it goes back and forth and some people say, oh, he's only 14.
I'm sorry, 14 year olds these days. Yeah. Yeah. [00:15:00] Are very different than the 14 year olds when we were Oh, absolutely. Than we, when we were 14. Let's be real. Because they have all the knowledge of the world in their pocket. Yeah. Really. You say it like, oh, how many do this? Or, I could do this and all the rest.
But it's, there really is, when you are a person like yourself, there is only one option. Those aren't those things that you say, oh, going through it. And those aren't options for you. Yeah. They're just not, they don't come to, there's of course a temptation, but there's not a, there's a temptation to do a lot of things we don't do.
Yeah. 'cause yeah. 'cause our integrity and our honesty of. Being ourselves is more important and therefore that is never even an option. You can say all you want about other people doing whatever, you're not gonna do that. Exactly. You're gonna be the mother that you know you wanna be. Yeah. And I have par parents say to me, whoa, how did, you didn't give him a phone until he was 13.
Like, how did you do that? I'm going, I'm the parent. What do you say? No, what's the what's? And it's because they say, my kid has was asking from the time they were seven. Yeah. Yeah. And I gave them a phone when they were [00:16:00] eight and I go, I, that's your own fucking realize that your child like runs your life.
Exactly. I'm So what would you say is the median age that parents give their kids smartphones now is. Yeah, I would say nine. Really? Yeah, like eight and nine is what I, um, so pretty much you're looking at kids that are in first, second grade. Are majority of them would have cell phones. They have a smartphone.
Wow. And based on what I'm seeing, I, that's not what I see. Yeah. But I guess I'm around more like, maybe it's a California thing you see. Oh, with your, my niece. Oh, and your nephew. My niece was a little different 'cause her father gave her a smartphone and so she started having smartphones when she was like five.
But my sister would take them like, yeah, she only got to use it under her supervision. Sure. And mostly. Games or to talk to her father. Yeah, because he was in New Orleans and she was in Indiana, but she has no, like even a DVD player, I remember her being three and I was still [00:17:00] asleep and she woke me up to see if I would, 'cause my sister had gone to work and I was like, yeah, gimme a second and I'll get up.
I'll, I'll put it on. And she, she's like, I did it. I got it. And she like ran off. Definitely not older than four. I'm pretty sure she was three. And I was like, no, don't, I'll get it. And then I walked in and it's playing. She knows exactly what she's doing. Oh yeah. That was a DVD player. Yeah, so she's been using technology the whole time, but she was under restrictions on it.
My nephew, I think he got a cell phone around 12. But it's the same thing, like because we have the Apple family plan when he's trying to use it outside the hours of his limitations. Yeah. The screen time it pops up and shows me, and I'm like, you saw that he wants to use that? And she's, yep, I got it. I've even stopped doing this at this point where I'm like, you're an administrator on it now.
You see all the same alerts. Yeah. So he definitely has. Child protective blocks on it. Great. No, yeah. In Northern California. That's gotcha. Because Donovan was even asking me, he would [00:18:00] whine about it. Yeah. About like from the time he was seven. Gotcha. I, my friends have, and I see them with their phones, so I knew it was true.
They probably had restrictions on it too. Yeah. But they were actually at taking it out after school. Gotcha. And staring at their phones. That's So that's why, that's what I've witnessed. Gotcha. And what's great though is Donovan. At one point, I think it was like a year ago, he goes, mom, I'm really glad you didn't give me one until I was 13.
Yeah, absolutely. He said, my friends are. 1000% addicted to these things. Yeah. Yeah. And he said I could put mine away easy. Yeah. That's awesome. Oh, good work. Yeah, no, even so you can see he appreciated it. And I'm going, awesome. That's great. Yeah. You actually see the effect. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of, of that type of parent, which, and he, it pisses him off 'cause his friends will not put their phones away and he is held stay, be in conversation.
You pick up your phone. If you're with a group beat, pick up your phone only. To win an argument, like I told you, who won the most, the batting title in 1958, just for facts only [00:19:00] in within conversation. But if you were texting somebody else, and I know if it's work or something, get up, go do this text, whatever it might be.
But people who are actively thinking. That they are in two different conversations are not, and they're lying to themselves and everybody can see them lying, but they're just, everybody agrees you're lying to yourself. Everyone has an attention deficit these days anyway too. And thinking Totally. I was there, answer, but I was like, sorry, I gotta take this.
Exactly. That is completely, but it's, those people like just, they're picking it up and like it's your text and they just go like this and then put it down and you're like. There's no importance to it. Yeah. That you can, yeah. That you can see. Yeah. Like within that person it's, oh shit, it's work. Fucking do this.
You're outta the conversation until you come back in. It's like sitting out a pan fucking hand and poker. Yeah. But that's fine. Yeah. But don't like, just keep answering and you, and then you start to realize it's this same person that they're talking to and it's just a conversation. It's not really anything that, it's not a quick question.
Yeah. Leave the iron up. It's, especially when it's, whatcha doing [00:20:00] it out, especially when it's two people. You're actually talking to them and they're going, Uhhuh, uhhuh, we're all guilty to some extent. Oh, no, we don't. We've all done it. You're right. You're totally right. It's it, I just, I, I just have a little bit of hope when a 14-year-old is bothered by that.
Yeah, that. Yeah. That's fantastic. Yes. That's fantastic. Absolutely. Because I do think there's gonna be a time when you're right, it does, society does go in cycles there. There will be some sort of backlash. Hopefully. Yes. And there are the groups that will, alright, everybody put your phones away. Yep. There aren't parties that do that now.
Dinners that people do that now. They say, put your phones and maybe parents in a pile. And the espresso singer, I'm blanking on her name, the pop singer. Anyway. She just came out, she had gone to a concert where they had made you put your phones in the bag, and she was like, that was the most amazing concert experience I've ever had.
Mm-hmm. Might start doing that. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you are the generations that's never been to a concert without Yeah, [00:21:00] exactly. And without, yeah. All those, I I, the first concert I went to that was like, I'm going. What it started to. How about looking at it with your eyeball? Absolutely. I dunno. I was joking at Grace Jones and I was yelling at people in front of me because yeah, they were recording every song and Nikki couldn't see.
I could barely see because I had three phones in front of me. Yeah. And we were far enough back and I couldn't really lean around. And I'm tall by the way I normally can see. So having to just stare into three cell phones from the random people right in front of me. Huh. And again, a little drunk, but I was like, put your phones down.
Enjoy the concert. Yeah. Live in the moment. Absolutely. With your eyes. And I'm so used to being, because I being six five, I normally spend most of my life, the large, the tallest person in a room. If I, if somebody's tall than me, I'm like, oh, that sucks, dude. Yeah. Because it's, it's not, the world is not made for six three.
I think I'd love just 'cause I could walk into a Foot Locker and get a size 13 shoe go in the gap and get 34. 34 is whatever it might be. Yeah. But I'm [00:22:00] just outside of that realm. Where it's, I can't just walk in foot lock and get any pair of shoes I want. I have to get 'em off the internet. I have to get whatever my mom brings back.
Yeah. Like from her high school. Guess I want, I have never, my shoes right now are cool. I guess they're like old school high tops. But at the same time, growing up, I didn't have cool shoes. I had. Like my mom would beat like some outlet and be like, Hey, I found a size 14 shoe. I was 14 at the time, and it's like a fucking wrestling shoe or whatever.
Just some sort of idiotic orthopedic thing. I'm like, alright, I'm out. But so yes, there are struggles to being tall, but I would rather be tall than short and never more so than at a concert. Concert, large groups of people. I don't love being, nobody likes being in a large group of people, like on let's call GA on the ground floor.
Like you can't see shit and you don't know where the exits are. You don't know you're in the crowd. Yeah. But being six for five in a crowd. I see the crowd. I can see the whole thing. Yes, there's other people taller and I always say, oh shit, it sucks to be, yeah. But I am tall enough that [00:23:00] I can see the exits.
I can see how the crowd is moving. I can see the stage. Yeah. It sucks for everybody behind me. I call it the concert shadow. Yeah. Because if I'm like standing a ga, like a show. I look behind me and there's nobody, it's just a little triangle of people that are looking around me like that. Yeah. It's my concert shadow.
So again, you can't see over my head, so you're gonna look around. So just that BHA shade, but you usually stand to the back. Yeah, and I'm very not a big aware of it. I try not to be. As big as possible crowd. So we can see. But we as tall friends tend to go in concerts where we all stand towards the back because I'm the short one at six foot.
Yeah. No, I'm not standing in front of people that can't see over me. Yeah. And that thing was, it was glorious for a while until cell phones. Yeah. I don't have one, so it's not like a Oh, I do have one obviously, but I'm not Now granted you don't have it out, so everybody's up now and now I can't see the show.
Yeah. And now. Okay, so what's my benefit now? Oh, I get to hold [00:24:00] my camera higher than yours. Yeah. And have a fucking fake view. Better than yours. Yeah. Put 'em the fuck down. Listen to the fucking music. Yeah. Enjoy the show the way it's intended. Yep. Yeah. Or else just. Watch it on tv. Seriously. And because you're also never gonna watch that.
It's not nobody, when you're put on Facebook, always watch it. Yeah. That's what I wanna say. Someone else may have wanted your ticket. Yeah. If it's a sold out show, you know, especially those moments. Yeah. Speak of the phone in the bag thing, like I'm not a scientist, but do we not have the technology to, when you enter a school.
Your fucking cell phone is useless. It just, do we not have that technology? It just like basically shuts it down. I don't know. Radio jam, the frequency it is, but if you step into a school when you're eight years old, I see. No, absolutely. Zero. Yeah. Benefit to having that on and with you. Yeah. They're not And able to just distract you from everything you do during the day.
No. Which kids are already distracted enough. Every school is different in every state. Mm-hmm. I have no idea. [00:25:00] But most of the rules are, you cannot take it out during school. But that's starting to be a new thing. Yeah. I don't, that's everywhere, but, and with, of course, kids do it anyway. Exactly. They're gonna do it 'cause it's too tempting.
Yeah, of course. Like in South Park where all the kids constantly have their, and they're being told by Jesus to put 'em away. Yeah. But because it's like that, it's way too tempting. But they're becoming more and more stricter that when they do see a kid with a phone, it's taken away. Yeah. At Donovan schools.
But I But isn't it easier just to be like. Yeah, to get a, teachers wouldn't like that. Yeah, they would do do it to their phones too. So what, I know, you're in school, you're teaching. You got a job to do. I'm just telling you. Yeah, no, they'd say emergencies. I'll tell you this, I don't, I hate when a bartender is behind the bar texting.
Texting. Yeah. I don't care if you do. Go right ahead. Walk down by the ice machine. Yeah, like walk the crowd. Go outside. We're not that busy anyway. And if we were, that busy wouldn't be. Answering that text. Let's hope. Yeah. Text. Just go down to the end of the bar. Just get your [00:26:00] text on if you need to and go back.
And that's a bar. That's where you're supposed to have freaking phones and all the rest, but schools, but not as the bartender. Yeah, but I don't a better, it's just engaging with You're absolutely. With the emergency thing, you are, you're able to do something, which I get would be a thing in the school. And that's why, 'cause a lot of parents are defending this.
No, don't. You can't take away my kid's phone and all the rest. It's, and I understand the whole, I get to see where they are thing. It's not, you don't need a whole phone to do that. You can sew that little air tag the air tag into your fucking underwear. I mean, like you can know where your kid is technologically without a cell phone.
That's another interesting thing too, to find my phone. I never use it on top. Yeah, I don't like that. That's a thing because of the privacy thing. Absolutely. I, it's disgusting. If he knew that, I was like constantly watching where he's 100s. I'm like, no, I don't do. Absolutely. Anyway, I said that to someone.
They go. Wow. Really? I'm watching where my kid is all the time going. See, that's what I was just gonna say. It's kind our owners when they get security cams, especially to begin with. Yep. Because you are so glued to it and fascinated like it affects your life that you are doing that. Oh [00:27:00] yeah. As the parent.
If you're just staring at where your kid is all the time, that's not healthy. Yeah, I was gonna say, how was that? Yeah. We didn't have that and we're the last generation that No, there's another generation. We had millennials didn't have that either. Gen has it. Absolutely has it. Able to be at least found at any time, which has a lot of benefits.
Great. Put on the side of, it's better than a milk carton. Yeah. You know what I mean? But it's, you know where your kid is and it's just both. Yeah, like absolutely. Oh, remember sneaking out imp and lying about where you were. It's not just imprison the kid, it's imprisoning yourself to having to know where it is.
All I gotta, and beyond the kid thing too, like the people who are obsessed, where their spouse is, or where their boyfriend or girlfriend is, or it just, it's just way too, I don't know, it feeds into that weird, it becomes an obsession. Obsession thing. Yeah. But it's strange though. And being like, and not trusting.
Sorry. Okay. But this is weird though, and I, I can't. Really comprehend why, but we do have FaceTime. People use FaceTime all [00:28:00] the time. It's very popular. Yeah. But it's nowhere near as popular as texts or even a phone call. Yeah. But FaceTime, technically, we talk about mistrust, especially within relationships and all the rest.
A lot of people, if you're in a relationship, maybe you don't trust them. Wouldn't you FaceTime all the time no matter what, to know exactly where they are? And if they don't answer, then they become suspicious or if they have to answer. So it's, but strangely enough, it's not that popular. I don't think we really wanna know that bad.
A text is fine. Yeah, I'm at the office. All you talking to do is FaceTime them and they're at the strip club. It's like, but you just accept the text. Yeah. I feel like FaceTime has become more and more of a thing, though. I'm sure the number of people, when you walk around the streets and see people FaceTiming Yeah, you're right.
While they're walking, I'm like, it drives me funk. Yes. Do you need to see each other's faces right now while you're walking on the sidewalk and on the plane? I, there's, but here's the thing. You're right, it is happening more. However, it's still not. The most popular still not the most popular, will be text people doing while driving, which is fucking [00:29:00] insane.
You can ease. FaceTiming is as easy as doing it and you can prove everybody everywhere all the time. So it's still less popular. Yeah. Than the assholes that were all like, come on, you're on a train lady, shut the fuck up. Yeah. I don't wanna know what you're, why you're talking to your 15-year-old niece right now.
I don't really care. Seriously. That's thing too. Even when they don't even have headphones on. So it's, and we're hearing everybody, I'm like, the entire conversation, the majority of us agree when you walk. That's what I mean. That's why I don't think Facebook will ever be, or FaceTime will be that popular because the majority of us do agree.
You fucking suck, dude. Yeah. Put your phone down. Have a conversation without me being around it time. Totally. Yeah. Although, is that just where we're old people now? Yeah, no, exactly. Yeah. All the time. Yeah. It's either these kids today or al my knee. Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Yeah. And but going back to the, just feeling, the disconnect between the generations, I honestly feel it, this is gonna sound strange, but I feel very [00:30:00] disconnected more from I, I feel like young millennials and older Gen Zs.
Then I do like my own kid and his friends. This may sound really, but May. It's because I know my guy. Because you have a close relationship with your kid and his friends. And his friends. Yeah. Yeah. And within the culture you live the region and the schooling rest. Exactly. That's you said about before, about like where you are and the schools that you, your kids are going or your kids going to is like the eight, nine age thing.
So it's, yeah, you have your pulse. Like Jess and I are obviously childless and I'm happy as hell. I am. Yeah, totally. Talk about all these generations today without really having a grasp at all. Of Even one single one. Yeah. Like I definitely have two nieces and a nephew. They're the best, but now they're actually grown.
They're in their twenties and whatnot, and it's like you have a great relationship with them and all the rest, but I didn't have my finger on the pulse of children. What's happening, being raised. In today's world, I can just sit like an old man and say, get off my lawn. Yeah. These kids today are off. Yeah, that's true.
It's one of the fun things about having Will's kids [00:31:00] around, so like my business nephews, because they're 16 and 14 now, so I would say, and it's been five years now, so getting to see them grow up, will and I, were basically. Bitching about the kids just feeling bad about how, like they don't know how to interact and they don't live in the real world and blah, blah, blah.
And the 16-year-old was in the other room and was like, we live in reality.
Shut up. Yeah, we know you do, but also your dad owns a bar that's different. Yeah. Oh, and that's the thing too. I, they're so different than we were. At that age, Donovan and his friends, they ha they have never like even tried to drink or smoke. There's hardly any boyfriend, girlfriend, like things going on.
It's all the boys are still together and all the girls are still together. It's not a thing. Yeah. So wanna have a girlfriend and Yeah, I'm going wait. I was drunk for the first time when I was 12. I had my first cigarette when I was 12. I'm [00:32:00] going, so how, what do you think contributed to the stunting of that sort of development?
I think it's social media and, yeah. Yeah, it makes sense. You're connected, but completely alone. Yeah. But you, you spend your time with that. Yeah. Not with others. And you don't have. There's no pressure for any of that, which in a way is a good thing. But then, but yeah, there's many ways it's, yeah, but then you wanna go, you wanna say, yeah, but you have to have those moments of, yeah, and I'm not even talking about the drinking and smoking, but like of asking a girl out.
Sure. Or a boy out, or that you just have to have that. I didn't go on any dates till I was 17. Like some people just don't care about that at that age. But it seems to, and there's so much more distraction now. More popular now. Yeah. But there's a lot more things to do. You're not bored. It's not. It's not that you can only watch the one TV show at x time on X day.
Yeah. And you can only go outside and play with your friends and you can Yeah. Only play you don'ts a Friday night anymore as much as says. Exactly. Yeah. And it's not, it's not so person to person too. Yeah. So Donovan will hang out with his friends [00:33:00] a lot actually after school and everything, especially Fridays and the weekends.
Then they go all go home and then they get on the computer together and they're playing online games together. Yeah. So they were in person and now they're online. Yeah. And weirdly spending more time with each other. More. Exactly. I'm like, I remember being alone in my room. Yeah. Because talking on the phone for two hours.
Exactly. To your dad. Yeah. I couldn't have a TV growing up in my room. Now you can have a TV in your bed with you without anybody knowing. You're like, it sucks. And what it means to be bored. Absolutely. That's the thing too. So my kid. Does not know how to be bored. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, no, turn everything off.
Mm-hmm. Just be bored and figure it out. Yeah. And instead it's like the whining I, why can't I go on this and go on that. Figure it out. Absolutely. And you know what? Walk outside by yourself. Yeah. I don't care. Yeah. Just go do something. So that's, they're like, we'll play outside. I guess that part is the definite, is the disconnect part.
Yeah. Oh. But like, why can't you be bored and just figure something out? Yeah. [00:34:00] But adults can, they don't do that. I say, yeah. So can you guys leave? I'm either turning on a tv. Yeah. Or a podcast or Yeah. We're children ourselves, especially if we don't have children. We still are the children. Yeah. Yeah. That's allowed to do anything we want.
Yeah. And which is fantastic. And great. Yeah. But like you just proved like we have no fucking idea what. That so we're gonna be disconnected even more so than you. Yeah. Where it's gonna, where it's gonna, it's gonna be more standoffish. And I know everybody, every generation that, that ages closer and closer to itself in the sense that you just shut yourself off me and it's not you're comfortable with you don't know.
Maybe you got a grandkid short if you don't have any kids at all. You're gonna be farther and farther away from whatever the kids are doing these days, and you're gonna like us probably fucking hate it and give it the finger at the same time. Be like, yeah, but I'm glad I'm not part of that bullshit because you suck so much.
Yeah. I'm gonna be over here. I don't want nothing. Part of you. Yeah. Both of you don't want kids, obviously. You already said that. Don't have kids. Do people still give you shit for that? Or not as much. Now I'm almost 45, so it's [00:35:00] Yeah, but you did get shit for it. Oh my whole life. We get way more shit than men did.
Yeah. Oh no. My whole life, when I was in my early twenties, one of my bosses, who's the sweetest, most lovely man, but he had just had his first kid and he is, yeah, you say you don't want kids, but it's one of the greatest things ever. Like you're probably gonna, because I'll, in my early twenties, you're probably gonna change your mind.
And I was like. Yeah, valid. I'm not trying to get my tubes tied at 21 'cause I just don't think that I'm gonna watch this. You didn't decide then that you didn't want them, you just never had them. I just didn't have the interest in it. Yeah. Yeah. Never had the biological clock calling me. Never had any of that.
And like I said, with the ex-boyfriend back in Indiana when our, when my niece was born and our friends started having kids because I was 23 and he was 27 and we started having all the friends who started having kids. Watching him play with them. I was like, he's gonna want kids someday. And then having side conversations with friends after we broke up.
He's definitely gonna have kids now. He is not with you. No. It's like hopefully. Then he dated someone for eight years [00:36:00] who was even more staunchly. I don't want kids than me. Oh my God. Really? Yeah. It's funny. And then when I was hanging out at their house, he was, I was like, so how are you? He's, I think I want a family.
Yeah, dude, I told you that eight years ago. I told you that you were gonna want a family. It's one of, there's some people who broke up and that's the thing. It's, and we're not against it. Go for it. Somebody's gotta have kids. You seem like a good one to do that. Exactly. Like I said, we're still friends and that's because we broke up because it was.
Our lives that were different. Not Yeah, you're not telling other people not Not to have them. Exactly. Exactly. But then when I worked in the veterinary office, my boss was the same thing where he had, he just had his kid, he was about my age now actually. He was about 45. And he was like, this sex, drugs, and rock and roll lifestyle is fun.
And I would've been 30. But having kids is pretty great. You're gonna, you're gonna change your mind. You're gonna wanna have kids. I'm.
I'm [00:37:00] not gonna wanna have kids. Yeah. And if nothing changes, yeah. This is what it's gonna be. And I That's fucked. Yeah. I'm just in very similar. Now granted women are in a completely different physiological ballgame when it comes to that shit. Oh yeah. Men are. And none of us should ever try to speak for you guys in that situation.
It's way for a guy. Yeah. Especially for a guy whose dad didn't have until he was one week shy of being 55 years old. Yeah. And my mother was too much. Shy of 40. Yeah. So it's like they already went that road and it's, they're not gonna pressure me to have kids when I'm 21 because it's like they don't know that.
They only know what they know. Yeah, of course. Yeah. And also just growing up, my mother like, it just, they just knew, not knew, oh, this kid's never gonna have kids. Like it's not some biological thing. Yeah. It's, that was never like really anything I ever really talked about or really thought much. Oh, I got almost no shit.
From my immediate family, zero shit. Like you never asked. Really? When my niece was born. That's nice. My first thought, because my sister was 20 when she got pregnant. I was like, oh God, at 20 you're gonna, you're gonna be [00:38:00] 21 when she's born. That's crazy. Also grandkids taken care of. Yeah, because I'm the older and I was in the relationship and had the career and was like, seems like the track should be that I should be the one to have a kid.
And then yeah, I was just like, you had a kid. Great. Took care of that one. One. Yeah. Yeah. No. So we're gonna wrap it up a little bit. Sure. But I always end it with a few questions that just come to me. Since the two of you have traveled a lot, this is a good question. If you could go anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be?
I still haven't been to Southeast Asia or Japan. I would like to hit that area up. Yeah. Uh, so you'd go somewhere new? Yeah. Yeah. Because it's a two way thing. So I'm looking at, do I go back to my favorite place? Yeah. I go place. I've always been. So you would go somewhere? Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Okay. So where would, where do you think Probably Japan, because growing up an anime kid or like high school or whatever, that's always been somewhere like Tokyo, somewhere.
I'd like to go. But then also more of the [00:39:00] old Japan too. Yeah. So yeah, that's probably what I would do. Can I just expand on, did you, for how long? If you could go anywhere, it doesn't matter. Where'd you go? Are you talking about would I go there for a week? No, whatever you wanted to do. Okay. What would you, so with Japan that trip, two weeks in Japan.
Two weeks in Japan, yeah. If you could do anything right now, you go two weeks into bed. Yeah. Makes great answer. Yeah, because it's a, yeah. Bring a large, vague question down to Yeah, I would, and I'll do that in February. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, now I'm switching, okay, what do I wanna do this year? There you go. But I, but originally my brain went to the, what's the best place I've ever been and I Oh, and what's that?
Yeah. I don't know. That's what I was thinking around trying to go course something that like I'm somewhat familiar with because I don't think right now I love going places. I dunno. I truly do. I travel, but I'm a traveler where it's like, I don't. Go to Paris on a vacation 'cause I've never been there. I like find myself in Paris because finally I know somebody there.
Ah. You know what I mean? Yes. Like I know [00:40:00] Pi have you have friends everywhere. I know DC I know like a lot of different strange cities that Why would I know that? Because I have good friends that live in those cities and that when I go and visit there, I crash on their couches kind of thing. Yeah. Perfect.
So I'm just trying to think of like maybe somewhere I've been familiar with but don't know fully. You have all the money in the world. There's no like, yeah, I absolutely love Europe. I think Europe is amazing. I love how it's just how it's both evolved, separate and together. Kept, kept our languages. We have dialects at best, like within hundreds of miles.
They have complete and utter different languages. And share and can both all speak that, and to just grow that way as a society is just phenomenal to me. Yeah, and I think, I've been to Europe a bunch, so I probably wouldn't go to somewhere I know. But I would go to Europe, multiple countries for a month.
Okay, cool. All right. Let's see. Oh, this one might be good for you guys. You went, walked into a theater, and [00:41:00] your life right now was being shown on the screen, what would the audience be yelling at the screen? D,
and it doesn't have to be negative.
It's gonna be do. No, but I've had people answer things like, let's go. Yeah. So like it's an action film and they're like, yeah, but it could be like, whatcha doing? Don't go through that door. Like why did you make that decision? So that's what it could be way, go home and get to sleep. It could be. Would that be yours?
Yeah. Yeah. Why aren't you sleeping? Wait, that's me talking to you. Yeah, exactly. They're saying why is this in three?
But does anything else come to mind? Just douche. And why is this in 3D? [00:42:00] Yeah. Shut off. You can put together and be like, Hey douche, why is this in 3D? I want my money. Exactly.
This guy.
Alright, so the last question I always ask is if there's one thing you could either start or stop, or both. And either or both that would bring you back to your most authentic self. What would it be? I dunno. I feel like I'm pretty authentically me. What would I change or what would like a habit and start or stop?
What would you start or stop? Do you mean like magically I would, going back to what we've been talking about. I said no, what you, no. What you would actually do would get, it's more of in your own life. What would you maybe start or stop doing that would bring you back to who you are not, you're two of the most authentic people I know, but we all have things where we're like, there was that thing that I used to do [00:43:00] that made me so happy because it like.
It's me that I don't do anymore. Or usually that's, those are the kind of answers, but there's no wrong answer actually right now. And in the past few years, I have gotten back to that because I was, that's great. Urban arts. I was an art major. I did, and the bar in many ways is my art fine. But I did not, I don't, I didn't draw much anymore than I did when I was a kid.
I didn't create, I write here and there and did some designs here and there, but I did not keep up with. The T-shirt thing. I've been making t-shirts for years, but now it's, I spend a lot of time TV's off and I'm on my computer designing shit like all the time. I spend hours and hours doing it. Yeah. And I know I've talked about it, like I want open the t-shirt shop at the bar and all the rest, but it's taking me forever because of the fact that I'm enjoying the fuck out of it.
I really like coming up with a new design designs take hours, they take days and like those days could have sure been used. To get the shirts up and ready to go and all the rest, but it's [00:44:00] also, I just, I love this new design. Yeah. So to answer your question, basically, I really, I know exactly what you're saying.
I am there. Yeah. Which is really cool. And that's the part that's why you haven't put up the shirts is because you're enjoying, I'm enjoying the shit out of it. The, I wanna turn it, I do wanna turn into it. I do want it to turn into part of the business. Yeah, no doubt about it. I had the opportunity to, how fucking look lucky am I my own?
Gallery, if you will. Yeah. I have my own space. I can do whatever the hell I want. And I chose to put velvet paintings of Arnold Schwarzenegger on it. That's fine. And to me that's art. Thank you very much. Yeah. Yeah. But it is, it's like, it's one of those things that keeps, something else will come up and it won't bother me that much because I'm just like, oh, I'll just make banging out, like new designs coming up with new shit.
Really being the artist that you always knew, like just creating is the most important part, showing it's this time spent doing that, and I've gotten back to that in the past few years. That's great. I've gotten very far away from for a long time. There you go. I guess listening to full [00:45:00] records, like I don't listen to music at home as much as I used to.
Partly 'cause being in bars all day. It's what I listen to. So at home it's usually podcast or tv, but that'd probably be the closest thing I can think of off the top of my head. Sitting down with a full album. The full album. Yeah. Yeah. And the days of going to Tower Records, amoeba music. Yep, totally. And just spending hours there looking through all the music.
Yeah. Yep. Don't do that anymore. I miss those days. Yeah, exactly. We can have nostalgia about it, but we're guilty of it, but we're not. It's exactly. We're the ones who did it. Yeah. That absolutely. We're not doing it anymore. Oh man. I wish Blockbuster was around. Why? Because you wouldn't go there like you haven't for 48 years.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I still go to record shops, but yeah, no, and plenty of people. Absolutely. Thank God. Yeah. Yeah. And people do, yeah. It's not the, but it the majority. It's interesting too. I was just talking to one of the owner of, are they psychic now on seventh? Yeah. And he was like, yeah, people have good intentions of supporting local business, but then they come in and say, I need this album by tomorrow.
And what do you charge? [00:46:00] Oh, I can get it for this price though. Yeah, of course. So you're just gonna order it from Amazon? Of course, but it's dead. It's not. How do you compete? Yeah, like you can't compete. And it's like, it's so frustrating because they're, they have the good intention, but then they come in with the Amazon price, idea, price and ability to get it.
Tomorrow. Just they come in with logistics. There's not, there's. It's the Amazon model. That's what I was looking for. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Immediate satisfaction. We've all been, we've always been searching for it. That's why we invented all the shit we've invented. Yep. Like the telephone, it's communicated with each other things.
It's make things easier to get everything. The railroads. Yeah. Airplanes, all the rest. And now we have it easier and faster. Yep. And now that's why the record shop. Yeah. We can complain all we want. Yeah. But not gonna change the fact that it's going. Yeah. Like it's going whatever way the majority goes and that's why.
Yeah. We were talking earlier about kids are different these days. Like the 21 year olds now, the 22, 23, 24 year olds. These kids were like in the COVID years when they were in high school. Those developing years of sneaking around drinking in the bushes and at the party [00:47:00] in the fields kind of thing. Yeah, they are that way anymore.
Yeah. So it is changing, but I think that more so than the alcohol is the actual. Need to be together with people. And now we're seeing a big increase in non-alcoholic beers. And I believe I can point to a lot of different reasons. That was pretty much because of COVID, like in the sense that we all were shut down, we couldn't go to bars.
What did we need? A lot of people realized they didn't need alcohol. They went to bars all the time. But it wasn't the alcohol they were there for. It was the need for human species to gather. Yeah. And then a lot of other people helped. They went through so many damn bottles of tequila. Yeah, it And it went the other way.
Exactly. Yeah. Totally fine. Exactly. And they learned a new way of drinking, which is a fucking home all the time. They were, we needed alcohol or they were in a situation that they wanted alcohol and it was fucking fantastic. It really was. I drank, I know I drank way less. Yeah, during COVID, because I don't have beer in my fridge, I have a walk-in cooler for crying out loud.
Yeah. I'm in the bar. I'm no [00:48:00] stranger to alcohol, but I didn't need it. And so I think a lot of people, and I drink non-alcoholic beer now too. If I still drink, it's just, but I drink that moat. I'll have a shot or two or something like that, or I'll go out, if it's a big, if it's an event, I'll drink whatever.
Right. You have non alcohol, you have four different types at your bar. Yes, we do. Yeah, I have two that didn't exist before COVID. No way. In 30 years of bartending before COVID, I may be sold. Eight Odos. Yeah. From the different bars app, which they, every bar maybe had a six pack in the back of the cooler or downstairs in the walk-in, but it just was not a thing.
Yeah. Now it is multiple cases per week and therefore I think our business is somewhat safe from the death of record shops. That's great. It's for a very niche audience, but it's a dying thing. I think bars and restaurants will always be able to weather that storm no matter. What kind of thing? The global pandemic happens.
Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly it though. It's 'cause people need to be around other people. Yeah. And that's [00:49:00] why the pandemic Yes, was COVID, but the pandemic was also loneliness and people. Absolutely no longer having human connection and what happened after that? That was, yeah, so that's why I think, like you said, bar, it's a great place to end because you guys, your bars and everything that I think will never go away.
I'd to hope so because of the human interaction. People go to bars to be around other people. We're seeing some of them, yes, go to sit alone and drink maybe, but yeah, of course. So you're always gonna have that as. Yeah. But for the most part, sometimes you just need a glass of wine to relax after work. But you could do that at home.
Yeah. And so if you're going to go to a bar to do that, it's because you want someone to talk to. Absolutely. Or just have people around. Yeah. And for the very first time, we're seeing mocktail bars, entire bars. They're designed, there's plenty of places that don't serve alcohol. Yeah. Or like they're designing it to be specifically social gathering spot, like a bar for people.
So now granted, those are not doing very well. I, I was gonna say. Sure. And it's a really tough sell. However [00:50:00] they now exist or try to When they never did before. Never whatever. No. There was no mocktail bars. There's no, no way. People didn't drink? No, she went to bars. When did, when did the word mocktail even come out?
Really? Yeah, that, that's definitely within the last, how long has that been around? Within the last decade, I say. Yeah, because Shirley Temple's of month. Cocktail, if you will, but nobody ever used that phrase, did I say that Virgin? Because it's funny. Shirley Temples are like those candy cigarettes. Yeah.
Yes. Like Shirley Temple is designed to teach a child to order a cocktail. Yeah. Like all it is, it's fucking ginger ale or Sprite and Grenadine and whatever else you wanna bring. And a Yeah, exactly. The cherry. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And it's just here. That's you're, that's really cute. You're here like an adult now.
Yeah. You're drinking the booze. Oh, Ben, when we have. Kids that come in for the shows, which you have to be with your parent to be able to enter the bar or with your guardian, but. Val said that she had someone trying to order six Virgin mojitos the other day for the kids in the group. Oh my God. And she was like, and the guy was [00:51:00] like, I see you have mint.
And she's like, yeah. And for underage people, I have cranberry juice. Pineapple juice or lemonade. Yes. Which one would you like? There you go. What they say? They'd like, okay. Finally gave up. But yeah, it was just like, but I can see the mint uhhuh and the mint is for the grownup drop. Absolutely. The one without alcohol.
You can see a whole wall full of alcohol too that using that on you. Yeah. I'm not putting that in your kids' drink either. Exactly. Yeah. Yep. Shirley Temples will do for sure. You're like, especially apparently we need a kid menu. I'm not shaking up a mojito with Norum. No kid. No. Maybe I'll charge you the same.
Yeah, exactly. Eat shit kid. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's a great place to end unless the two of you have anything else to say. No, just eat shit kid. Yeah. Pretty much sums up my whole thing.
This message. Old man. Yeah. Yeah. Brad, everyone thank you both for being here [00:52:00] and doing this with, that was awesome. It was fun. Yeah. Thanks so much.
